She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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