How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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