Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
