I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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