butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
