I need help removing her.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
