She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
