she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
