'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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