In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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