How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
