so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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