party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was like eating out sand paper
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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