It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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