Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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