dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
