God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
