i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
