problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
