Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
