nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
