I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
