So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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