Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize