Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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