Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
