Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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