everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
