She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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