Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
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