So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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