It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize