I am puke
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
