I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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