I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
