in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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