I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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