im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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