Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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