she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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