That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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