ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
