margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
handjob tips. give me some.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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