I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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