i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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