May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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