So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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