It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
