I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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