i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
