IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
