Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
