So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
