it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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