I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
