Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
