the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
