Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize