i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
