You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
