i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
