dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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