You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
