Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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